kerry's blog

happenings

2010-04-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

holy cow. it appears i haven't updated this thing in four months and one day exactly. since my last post, i've graduated. worked a lot. quit my job. read. played the piano. spent tons of time with family and friends. cleaned my house. etc etc. nothing too horribly exciting. i do, however, have some new news on the kerry college front.

i will be going to paul smith's college of the adirondacks this fall instead of UT. it's a small, private, liberal arts type of school located in the middle of the adirondack state park. it's roughly an 11 hour drive from toledo, and about a half hour away from lake placid in NY. why paul smith's, you ask? for their RATE program (recreation, adventure travel, and ecotourism).

a very brief description offered by psc themselves..
http://www.paulsmiths.edu/forestry/rate.php
and if you're wondering what in the world ecotourism is..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecotourism.

basically, this has all happened very fast, and i am really excited. i applied about 3 weeks ago, and i was informed just this past monday that not only have i been accepted, but i am receiving the presidential's scholarship ($12,000 a year)!! we're going up to visit the campus for their open house this weekend, and i can't wait. this is by far one of the biggest decisions i've had to make in all of my 18 years, but i really feel that i'm making the right one.

i don't have much else to say at this point. but i am very happy. i plan on taking a lot of pictures this weekend to share with you all, so stay tuned. i guess. ha.

ugg..no, really.

2009-12-13T08:54:00.000-08:00

today marks my first full week of being a shoe saleswoman. it's inside the mall, and there are really no words to describe it. the crap i've been trying to get away from is now what i promote. from what i've seen so far, it's a lot of teenage girls, and black women, and weirdo, uptight moms buying these awful, expensive shoes (way to be stereotypical, ha). i should not be working in a shoe store, considering i have only about two pairs of shoes i wear on a regular basis (old man moccasins from the kmart slipper section, and some pretty beat up chucks), but you won't be catching me in sparkly purple leather diamond encrusted $190 heels any time soon. i got in trouble yesterday because flannel and boy pants and my poor moccasins 'do NOT represent our store and it's mission'. i'm not trying to be an indignant jerk, but give me a break. i enjoy playing with the little kids who get dragged in while their mothers try on countless pairs of shoes. i also like to stand at the front of the store and make up ridiculous stories in my head about everyone who walks past (i have a good imagination). the best thing about my job however, is putting away shoes in the stockroom. i'm usually by myself back there, which makes it a great time to just think and reflect. the majority of the time i'm cursing myself for being in this situation, but i know there is a lesson to be learned amongst all of these thigh-high boots. well, hopefully.

sususudio

2009-11-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

i got into a heated discussion this past week with a few classmates of mine. i didn't realize i was the only person i knew who appreciates the fine musical stylings of phil collins. they don't know what they are missing:

against all odds, without a doubt, is one of my favorite songs of all time. weird, i know, and i admit i'm partial to the postal service's cover of it, but still. it's a wonderful love song.. who hasn't felt like that at one point or another? i was inspired, and not entirely out of spite, to learn how to play it on the piano, and have been pounding it out quite passionately for the better part of this evening.

i wish i was a foodie, because then i could be friends with anthony bourdain. if you looked up COOL GUY in the dictionary, i am pretty sure his picture would be there. i finally checked out a few of his books from the library recently, and i'm a little angry with myself for not doing it sooner. although i have no idea what the heck kuzu tagliatelle with ginger is, he is hilarious, the pictures are beautiful, and he is a great writer. in fact, i even asked santa for my own copies of his books. now if only i could get a full sized poster...

i've been holed up the majority of this weekend listening to animal collective. they are one of my very favorite bands, and i managed to get my paws on a leaked version of their new EP 'fall be kind'. it is so good. 'what would i want? sky' has been playing in my head nonstop, and i wish i could post the mp3 of it on here, but i'm not very savvy at all. they're an acquired taste, i admit, but if i've piqued your interest, i think 'fall be kind' is a great starting point for all you first-timers out there.

unfortunately, PSO is a no go. interested students were supposed to attend a meeting in march about doing it. drat.

getting introspective, part 2

2009-11-15T09:35:00.000-08:00

another perk of graduating early..
i feel bad for saying this, but i can't help but feel a little resentment towards my friends and my 'high school' life. i mean they're all nice people, no doubt, but unfortunately they're not the people who stimulate me intellectually at ALL or inspire me to become a better, smarter person. i don't know. i guess what i'm saying is that the person i want to become isn't 'cool' because they were up for homecoming queen, or were named the class clown, or had a ton of friends, or clothes, or boyfriends, whatever. although i'm grateful to have had a bunch of close friends the past four years (and i have had a lot of fun with them!), i am really beginning to dislike the way some of those people choose to act, and i don't want to fall into one of those traps. without trying to sound like a superior ass, i would be lying if i said i wasn't looking forward to getting away from all that junk and 'bad' influence. this is tough. i sound like a total pessimist; i defnitely have faith in mankind, i just think teenagers are impressionable idiots (myself included sometimes). ha.

biological warfare

2009-11-11T16:33:00.000-08:00

i should really start posting on here more often! it's not that i don't make the effort to write, i really do. in fact, in between each of my postings, i probably sit down at least 2 or 3 times to try and write something new and interesting and witty, but then.. nothing! i'm not sure why i'm such a self conscious writer. probably because it's one of the few things i am a perfectionist about (the other being piano).. it's the same way in my creative writing class. i'll come up an interesting idea or sentence or whatever in my mind, but when i try to to put it on paper, it fails! my teacher seems to like my work, but i don't feel satisfied with any of my finished pieces. perhaps the next time i can get it together and write something i'm okay with, i will post it on here. writing about writer's block?! good grief. now that that is out of my system..

some interesting things on the kerry front. my immune system has failed me once again. my glands are taking over my throat as we speak! i was prescribed tamiflu, the swine flu medicine, but we're not really sure if i have it? oh dr. abaza, you sly fox. i mean, it's probable that i have a kiss of the h1n1, but nothing to get worked up over. on the bright side, i woke up this morning with pink eye in both eyes, but i was able to 'cure' it enough to go to school. probably not the smartest move for my health and the well being of everyone, but i am a nerd, and missing more than two days of school in a row is simply too much for this red head. this sounds pretty disgusting i realize, but i am just a sickly type, so don't judge me. please. ha.

i've made the decision to graduate high school in january. why, you're probably asking yourself? why not! the kel is okay with it, i'm okay with it, just gotta make sure my dreaded counselor is okay with it, and we're in the clear! i still have every intention of going to UT in the fall.. but by graduating early, i can get a full time job (don't laugh, minimum wage jobs are plenty available), start saving up, maybe get an apartment (perhaps this is wishful thinking, but a girl can dream!), whatever. OR i can do full time PSO at UT after january, or take just a few classes, or even start college in the summer. so many options! although i am quite sure i don't want to go into health care, i think i might put all of my nursing home experience to good use and work as a nurse aid till i start college, even if i really hated it (the care that patients in nursing homes receive make me ill). i don't want to get to ahead of myself, considering that tomorrow is when i go meet with some higher ups at my escuela to talk about it.. keep your fingers crossed for me!

an empowered and informed member of society

2009-10-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

i have a theory. if you buy overpriced spirit wear from a college bookstore after being instantly accepted (what a feat) at their campus preview day, you will end up going there. there is simply no way around this, and that's the only way i'm able to explain my enrollment to UT next fall. going there and living at home is absolutely positively not what i had planned for myself, but it feels like that is my only option. the UT guarantee is a bit of a joke the way it's advertised; i won't be a rocket for free, but i wouldn't be a buckeye free of charge either. while i am majorly disappointed and can't stop the 'if only i was smarter/richer/poorer/more athletic' mantra running through my brain, i am working on seeing the bright side of this situation... as soon as i get over being (almost) 18 and needing to get the hell out of dodge.

while on the subject of school.. i imagine humanities courses in college to be interesting and stimulating. my watered down high school one is anything but. it's so aggravating to me that our teacher won't commit and sit down and hit us in the head with some real philosophical concepts and ideas.. instead she shows us a million episodes of scrubs and lets that 'stew' inside of us. every once in a while we'll have a class discussion, but somehow the prompt 'why are we here? what is our purpose? do we even have one?' gets changed to how jay z probably worships the devil. maybe i'm just missing the point. i was really hoping that this class would teach me more and help me expand on my own personal philosophies, but i think i'm gonna have to keep on relying on wikipedia.
although my humanities class kinda bites, i have an awesome psychology teacher. that class is the one i count on to get me thinking, and to keep me thinking. after watching the intro to 'dreamworlds 3: desire, sex, and power in music video' in class, i went home and decided to check it out. it's about the humongous influence the media, especially music videos, has on sexualizing our youth and it's manipulation of our general ideas about genders roles in society.. i think that this is an issue that young people should know about and be aware of, and not fall prey to. while i enjoyed it, i'm not willing to get up on my soap box and wholeheartedly preach everything that sut jhally is saying... i don't care for the whole pretentious social activist thing one bit. i guess i just appreciate the fact that i have a teacher who is presenting ideas like this to students who otherwise might not care, might not know about, might not have access to.

flapjacks

2009-09-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

what's with the cold weather all of a sudden?! the bottom of my SWEATSHIRT is soaking wet from washing dishes. for some reason i always tell people i like cold weather, although when i'm actually experiencing it, i despise it. i guess i just use my 'liking' it as an excuse to stay inside and read and just be a lazy nerd.

today was lumberjack day at school for spirit week. unfortunately, only a select few students really got the lumberjack look down; the rest were mostly just girls trying to be cute with their dad's flannel tied up, bleh. tomorrow is denim day, but i will be wearing my powderpuff football jersey! despite my extensive knowledge of UT football, i am not so swift with a pigskin. i feel that i have the most terrifying position: lineman. although my ribs feel a little sore from getting pummeled by crazy 5'2, 110lb girls, i am ready to cream some underclassmen (maybe).

on friday, i finally saw sufjan stevens in concert. although my accompaniaments weren't as thrilled as i with the performance overall, i sure was! it felt a little short, but i was 50 ft from one of my absolute favorite musicians ever, so who am i to complain? i am still in happy shock over the setlist.. what! detroit, lift up your weary head?! cool!

not senioritis

2009-09-01T13:46:00.001-07:00

WARNING! upon proofreading, i have found that this blog is filled to capacity with COMPLAINTS! sheesh. save yourself the time and just skip over, unless i've just built you a mountain of curiousity
... then of course you must proceed.

i've spent the past two weeks being a senior. unfortunately, gentle readers, i am too tired to write anything ridiculously witty. i was rudely pulled from my wonderful, carefree summer days back into a no nonsense routine of school, work, study, sleep, rinse, repeat. my hours of friends and music and reading are increasingly becoming few and far between. i have to admit, i don't mind being in turtle mode, i enjoy my solitude. but then i realize that in a few short years i will have no summer break, that this sort of thing will rule my life! gah! depressing! what a horrible realization! must pretend i didn't write that. preparing to start new train of thought...

does anyone else get the bottom half of their shirt soaking wet when they do the dishes? or is it just me? i really don't mind doing the dishes at all, i find it's a great time for reflection, but i just would like to not need to wear a wetsuit when doing so. numerous times i've been told 'KERRY PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING!', but usually, almost always, to no avail. perhaps if i really just tried my hardest to keep the water from splashing around so much, it wouldn't be such a problem? or maybe if omri didn't ask me to give her bubbles everytime i do the dishes? or maybe if certain little brothers rinsed off knives slathered with peanut butter and cups with chocolate milk residue at the bottom, i wouldn't have to exert the extra scrubbing effort, which i'm positive causes my problem. good grief. although in my head i think i would really love to switch to disposable everything, i would probably end up turning into sarah sylvia cynthia stout, and i think that would become a bigger problem than any soggy shirt bottom could ever possibly be.

getting introspective, sort of

2009-08-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

i was born in '92, making me 17, almost a legal adult. whats happening right now in 2009, everything that is cool and hip and important and a big deal, belongs to my generation. every generation has it's big thing, it's defining moment. ours will be having the first black president in office. exciting yes, but better (and worse!) things could and will happen. we are, in my opnion, a mix of materialism left over from the eighties 'me' generation and the general narcissistic, jaded ideas of generation X. we're trapped by technology, i am no exception. 50% of married couples get divorced. a family going to church on sunday just seems weird anymore. while i write this, i am not reminiscent of a simpler time, of the american dream, the white pickett fence, or any of that stuff. i just think it's interesting to look at how people react to the changes in society, whether they welcome it with open arms and evolve, if they reject it and get left behind, or if they do a little bit of both. if the people my age are going to be ruling the world in 10-15 years, i'm not thrilled, but i don't wait in worried anticipation either. i think it's important for myself to try and find a middle ground between old-fashioned thinking and the new, radical ideas out there, whether it involves politics, the media, religion, whatever. i'm not sure exactly where i'm going with this, but with only a week till school starts it's probably good to get the intellectual wheels a-turning (although they always should be). consider this an idea in progress.

outlaw

2009-07-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

as requested by sarah

i'm sure you all have a vague idea of the trouble i have gotten myself into as of late, via my facebook posts (embarrassing, i dont like to talk about social networking sites-WEIRD) but anyways, the story...
on sunday night, two of my good friends invited me to check out an old insane asylum with them. being the impulsive person i am, i agreed on the spot, of course not running the logistics of this through my brain. i love everything scary/weird/gory/haunted/gross/disturbing so this was something i was definitely game for. we drive all the way out to whitehouse from the west end and after awhile we find said mental hospital. it is flat in every direction, no trees, nothing. we can't find a decent place to 'hide' the car, so we park it across from a farm house on the shoulder of the road.. stupid, i know, but it seemed logical and not suspicious looking, to us at least. we walk walk walk walk walk to the grounds and follow a drive leading us to the building. it's probably midnight, pitch dark, i was filled with lots of nervous excitement. then we see that the 'asylum' is surrounded by a 20 ft fence with barbed wire at the top. great. after walking around the fence, we give up and head back. major disappointment ensues. we get off the ground and see POLICE LIGHTS around the corner. my disappointment is replaced by the biggest, most awesome wash of dread. there's nothing we can do except to just maybe try to talk our ways out of it. a cop walks up and rudely shines a flashlight in our faces. i imagine we all looked pretty deer-in-headlights. "SooOOo-ooOo-ooo, what are you ladies up to tonight?" he says this with a slight twang, which is weird because toledo is 20 minutes up the road? i don't buy it.
(insert nervous teenage girl babbling)
"we, uh, just uh heard, about this haunted mental hospital and uh.."
"so you went on the property?"
"well no, we went around it."
"so you went on the property?"
"no, not technically ON it, but around it, yes."
"so you went on the property?"
"officer no, just around it, we didnt go on it..."
"so you went on the property?"
"okay, yea fine, we went on the property!"
the cop tells us that were trespassing and attempting to break and enter. alright, yea, you got us. he takes our ID's and runs them through, and after waiting for what felt like hours, he comes up to tell us our fate. turns out that that building is no insane asylum at all, its just an old jail that was closed down in the 90's. it wasnt even a place for really hardened criminals, just mostly for gigs like shoplifting and DUI's. the state forced the city to shut it down due to an abundance of lead and asbestos inside. the city then sold it to the metro parks to get it off their hands. so this meant that the PARK RANGER was going to decide whether or not red was going in the slammer. gggreeaaat. we talked to the cop for about 20 minutes, and i must say, he turned out to be a pretty decent guy, and for that i am extremely grateful. he got our names and numbers, told us to tell our parents, and that in the next day or so we'd be learning our fates. on the way home, im so sick to my stomach with nervousness that we have to pull over, which provided us with some desperate comic relief (what can i say, when i'm overly nervous or stressed, that's what my stomach decides to do). i get home, still feeling sick as hell, and break the bad news to kel. she took it like a mom, of course, checks my purse for controlled substances, and sends me to bed. the next morning i wake up happy and well rested until i realize that the previous nights' events did indeed happen and were not just a bad dream. the whole day i'm waiting for the call. i go through weird stages of thinking about the situation and laughing (i just wanted to see a ghost!) to then realizing what the repercussions might very well be and feeling pretty regretful and stupid (seeing a ghost isn't worth a $500 trespassing fine or being charged with breaking and entering). the call never comes. fast forward to this evening, around 7, still waiting for the darn call. one of my accomplices, aubrey, informs me that there is good news to be had. our friend ashley got the call and we weren't getting charges pressed, unless we went back there again. SWEET RELIEF! i have really been thanking my lucky stars that i got out of this with a slap on the wrist. have i learned a lesson? YES. will i do it again? NO. i guess it doesn't matter how innocent our intentions were, it doesn't justify going on to private property for a good scare. this has gotten pretty lengthy, and plus i'm getting tired of repeating the story, so i'm off to watch ghost hunters (hehe, couldn't resist), enjoy my mild grounding, and feel extremely grateful. adios.

bootleggers and book worms

2009-07-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

bookstore clerks, for me at least, are hit or miss. either they're really cool and friendly, or you get the feeling that they're silently judging you for your book choice. which is fine, i get it; you work in a bookstore, you can have an opinion, be a book snob, whatever, but sheeeeesh. i guess i'm just a little sore that there are no decent books under $14 to add to my personal library. that being said, i applied at barnes and noble today. for the second time. (hey, i'm persistent.) so maybe if one day i work there, i can scoff at every 17 year old that comes bouncing along while i read the Bhagavad gita or something equally ridiculous and reserved for intellectuals only.

so after i applied at barnes and noble, i went to the competition, borders, and ran into my old pal amanda. we agreed to hang out later and she asked me to call her when i got home. i was excited because i hadn't seen her in awhile and really missed her. keeping to my word, i gave her a ring and heard one of the best (and hopefully valid?..) excuses ever for not being able to hang out with someone: "I can't hang out tonight because i have to drive my guy friend's to the strip club. sorry."
*sigh*

kerry on six wheels

2009-07-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

all of my closest friends are rollerblading enthusiasts. what's the big deal about rollerblading, you're probably wondering? i always thought it was kinda weird myself, made me picture a girl in cut offs with a yellow walkman, rollerblading along a boardwalk into the sunset. after being invited to go rollerblading about a million times this summer, i broke down and went to the new savers to see if i could find some skates. there was only one pair left, in a womens 7, in perfect condition, straight outta 1983. and only six bucks too! my friend aubrey and i decided to go to ottowa hills with my new skates for our first rollerblading excursion together. turns out, i am an old pro. after warming up on the OH tennis courts and getting a lot of dirty looks from a man who must've been the tennis court-keeper, we set off into the neighborhoods. turns out that those neighborhoods are great terrain to blade on. shady, hilly, not too much traffic. perfect rollerblading conditions. i was really getting into the groove of things when my cell phone starts to ring. i answer, and it's my boss who kinda starts chewing me out on the phone. in between numerous 'uh-huhs' and 'right, right' and 'i understand', i notice a huge drop in the road ahead. i started to pick up alot of speed but was still on the phone. i decided that i should just step onto the grass so i could give my boss my full attention before i started going 200 mph on rollerblades. i had good intentions, i just didn't think it through so well. i was already going pretty fast when i decided to stop, so that first step into the grass basically launched me forward about ten feet. the mechanics of my fall involved a stumble that catapaulted me into a dive which i then wrapped up with a nice rolling finish. my cell phone also flew out of my hand and snapped shut as soon as it hit the ground. oops. after laughing for about 5 minutes straight, i called my boss back ('hi, uh, sorry, i'm, uh, driving and my, uh cell phone dropped the, uh call'). i got off the phone and had aubrey tighten my skates. halfway through relacing the second one, the woman who owned the grass and the big house came outside to see what we were up to. she told me she saw the whole fall, and i was so embarrassed that i couldn't even look her in the eye, haha. but she turned out to be very nice and told us if we needed anything else, 'to just come on in'. okay. i got up, inspected the grass stains on the butt of my shorts, and hit the road again. we conquered that damned hill and bladed around for the rest of the day. i've skated everyday since and haven't taken anymore spills, luckily. i'm trying to organize a trip to ohio skate so my friends and i can skate with people who share a common love, so look out for another edition of my rollerblading adventures.

probaby emily or sarah, but maybe matthew, i feel like there was some rollerblading action on one of the virginia or myrtle beach trips? but maybe i'm delusional. hmmm.

totally unrelated, but i heard a girl at my work say 'they took the money and left!', which launched me into singing "take the money and ruuuuuunnnn take the money and run take the money" and then i stopped short when i realized everyone was looking at me blankly and had no idea what the heck i was talking about.

where's my thick skin?

2009-06-27T20:41:00.001-07:00

tonight was crappy. is it very frustrating to bend over backwards to try to be kind and friendly to someone who makes you feel two inches tall. especially if you have to spend long hours scooping ice cream with them. from the moment i met said coworker, it has been this way, no matter how nice i've been (or at least i think/hope i've acted). i wish i was one of those tough cookies who never let anything get to them, but i'm not. perhaps she just doesn't like red heads. you can't win them all, right?

"do you like huey lewis and the news? their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. the whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. he's been compared to elvis costello, but i think huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour. "
i am dying to read american psycho!

kinda creepy but i like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjecYugTbIQ

not creepy, but i like even more. i'm not convinced that this is a cover. sounds like the real deal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKxqwUiHpf0

kosher

2009-06-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

i just drank pickle juice. i don't know why, it just sounded good, and now my stomach feels really weird. bad idea.

i've been recovering from vacation for the past two days at emily and frankie's. some north carolina highlights include driving for 5 hours on some highway, 77 i think? not sure. anyways, it was on cruise control, so easy. hmmm, read a ton, including 'haunted' by chuck palahnuik, which was good but very disturbing. i believe that book is what led to me having a screaming episode in my sleep on the second night of vacation. sorry mom and patrick. i met my husband, a bearded raft guide/ radiohead fan when we went whitewater rafting. too bad he was is his mid twenties, ha. i got a cool claddagh ring that i thought looked witchy because it had a black heart. i just discovered that i've been wearing it like a married person though, so now it's switched to the right hand with the crown away from my heart, but it feels kinda weird. i just might have to switch it back and get hitched. watched best of adam sandler on snl and billy madison a bunch of times and felt like a 12 year old boy. i heard bohemian rhapsody on the radio probably 5 times, i cannot get it out of my head, it's awful. the rest of vacation was just hanging out mostly, definitely a gembreska family trip to say the least..

i made a freckled lemonade like at red robin yesterday at work, except it didn't cost me $4.25 (pretty ridiculous if you ask me, but they are very good). all i did was make the lemonade then add that strawberry goo and a few soggy strawberries and it was like the real deal! my coworkers were pretty impressed and so was i.

reunited with my pals and spent the whole day outside, which resulted in a pretty gnarly sunburn. my lower back and upper thighs are fried so the whole outline of the bottom of my bathing suit is pretty obvious. having burned cheeks is painful but a very funny sight to see.

i've been trying to think hard lately about my college plans. toyed with the idea of going to college in nyc recently, but talked it over, did some research, and kind of got a reality check. i feel like i would probably get chewed up and spit back out after the first semester.

tonight i plan on listening to a couple new albums while laying very very very still on my bed with loose fitting clothes and a fan pointed towards me. sounds good.

holy cow, i just realized that the subject matter of my blog is quite erratic. sorry readers.

^^i just realized how funny it is that the readers of my blog are called 'followers'. makes it seem like my blog is a cult or something.

i'm no beautician but....

2009-06-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

i did manage to trim my bangs very nicely. i only got my hair cut 2 weeks ago or so and i'm already looking a little shaggy. i think emily and i have the fastest growing hair on the planet, unless it's just part of the mcgovern genotype?

in other news, the gem finally gave out on me for good. at least i think so. i was on the express way, going over that one terrifying bridge by the huge grain things, and my car just stops accelerating. luckily (well maybe not) i was by the south avenue exit so i just let my car coast down untill it decided to stop right in front of ashley park. HA! smoke billowing out of the hood, anti freeze spewing everywhere, some random broken belt-gizmo hanging from some pipes?! yikes. about 23432 good samaritans stopped to help out, but it was 7 pm about a block away from grandmas old house and i wasn't taking any chances. i'm no mechanic, but i think she's done for.

gotta rap this up, leaving for north carolina in like 15 minutes. woo hoo!

goals

2009-06-06T19:49:00.001-07:00

thursday was my last day of school. it's now officially summer. i'm kind of weirded out that this is my last 'normal' summer. this time next year i'll be getting ready to go off to college, and the years after that, who knows really. but anyways, i've got a few things in mind that i would like to accomplish. i have a long list of books i plan to read. i'd like to not waste all summer laying out and trying to tan, because i will never be anything more than off white and freckle-y. i have two really hard piano pieces picked out that i plan to master this summer. these are my pretty do-able goals. i have two more things i want to try to do this summer. the first includes running my first 5k. i'm in good shape from track (i think? i feel like it at least) and i've been working on building my endurance over the past few weeks. it's on the fourth of july so that gives me a little less than a month. and it's only 3.1 miles. i can do it. i think. if any of you pro runners have any tips....

and for my second 'big' goal...
i'm pretty frustrated right now. i've been playing piano for 7 years. i'm my teachers most advanced student; i've gotten to play for many judges, professors, teachers, pianists. so why is it that when you sit me in front of the keys with no music and tell me just to play, make up something, i go blank. and i consider myself a creative person. i am no good at expressing myself with words, i can never get my message across, and i feel like the person doesn't understand where i'm coming from, and i get embarrassed and that's that. and i'm no painter or poet or writer for that matter. i really do have alot to say, i want to express myself, but... i'm at a standstill. i love music, alot. music has always been a really huge thing for me. and as cathartic as playing is sometimes, i feel like i want to do something more. not learn more but maybe create something different? i get inspired from a million different people and places and things and i just want to take all these ideas in my head and actually do something with them. not sure what has been holding me back all this time, maybe because i don't want to 'expose' too much of myself or how i feel? sometimes i don't even like to blog because it makes me feel like i think i'm really important or smart or whatever. i don't know. i'm weird. i just need another way to say what i need to say and get stuff off my chest, and using music to do that just makes sense to me. so that is my other big goal for the next three months. to maybe try and make some music. we'll see what happens.

ps- mike, thanks for your oh, why not post.

pps- sorry if this was a really annoying, slightly melancholy, self-conscious post, ha.

am i right..

2009-05-30T15:19:00.001-07:00

or am i right?

kerry 1, emily 0

muahahahahhahahaa

i'm a scholar

2009-05-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

is there any correlation between causing minor car accidents and having really bizarre dreams? perhaps getting into a fender bender (with a very very nice car and an equally nice driver i must note), and side swiping patricks car on saturday has jolted my unconscious into a state of hyperactivity. according to freud...
" Dreams are not comparable to the spontaneous sounds made by a musical instrument struck rather by some external force than by the hand of a performer; they are not meaningless, not absurd, they do not imply that one portion of our stockpile of ideas sleeps while another begins to awaken. They are a completely valid psychological phenomenon, specifically the fulfillment of wishes; they can be classified in the continuity of comprehensible waking mental states; they are constructed through highly complicated intellectual activity."
so tossing and turning all night because i'm having a dream where i don't know if i should take AP lit or humanities has some meaning other than i'm a nerd? hmmmm...

no more hanging pipe, and some other nonsense

2009-05-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

current state of the union

1. my car has been extra loud lately because i somehow knocked the exhaust (i think?) pipe loose.. i didn't really mind until this past friday when my pipe was dragging on the ground as i drove. kind of embarrasing. patrick fixed it yesterday and the gem is back in the game.

2. only 12 more days of school left! too bad any motivation i've had all year to try hard is totally depleted. i'm feeling a little indifferent these days..

3. my borders/barnes and noble habits are breaking the bank, as are gas, polar pops, etc etc.

4. track is finally over, so happy. last week i went running at wildwood four times.. i love to run but i used to dread mondays and wednesdays because they were our 'hard' workout days.. now i'm really looking forward to when i get to go and run. my goal is basically to get my body out of sprinting mode and to build endurance so maybe i can run distance next year? either way, it's a whole lot easier to run at a park than around a track a million times.

5. i love jim morrison. i'm rereading 'no one here gets out alive' and i think he is/was such an interesting person. once at a piano lesson, my teacher wanted me to play something with a lot of yearning so she asked me what celebrity i want to date... i guess so i could think about that person as i was playing? ha. anyways, i told her jim morrison and she started to crack up. then she told me about how she had a 'romantic dream' about barack obama but never told her husband.. i guess she didn't want to make him jealous.

6. i also like pearl jam alot lately. i got their Vs. cassette (hahahahahhaha) on a whim and it ended up being a good find.

7. i really should probably start doing the dishes now instead of wasting any more time. boo.

why the iPod shuffle is an unfair representation of who i am

2009-05-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

i love my ipod. technically it's not even mine, a friend gave it to me after she got a new one but still, it's very nice to have. it kinda stinks that you can't see your playliststs, but i usually just put it on shuffle mode and let it run its course, instead of clicking through it a million times. whenever i have a 'guest' in my car, i just give them the ipod and let them play dj.. this is where things get kinda sticky.

i'm sure even john lennon liked some embarrassing music.. stuff that you would never own up to liking but really secretly love and know every word of and can't get out of your head.. yea... there are maybe like FIVE songs on my ipod that i wouldn't confess to loving even though i do; i have to keep my dignity in tact.

of course, OF COURSE, when i hand frankie the ipod on sunday one of the first songs to blast on is a extremely dorky taylor swift song... embarrassing, but it happens. he clicks to the next song. then the next. and of course, OF COURSE, this stupid emo acoustic whiny love song from emily's high school years comes on.... gah.... "uhh please change that." this is torture. probably two songs later, this thom yorke song with kanye west rapping over it comes on. okay. are you kidding me? there is nothing more embarrassing and stupid and awful than a little white girl in a car with rap music blaring. I AM NOT THAT GIRL. but that song, that song... i mean it has some credibility because he's in radiohead, but come on. oh ipod shuffle, you have failed me. next time, i'm sticking to my cassettes.

paying it forward

2009-05-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

i meant to write about this last week, right after it happened, but i guess better late than never.

usually i don't have too many good things to say about my job. i'm not really crazy about my bosses and just the corporation in general, i think they're a little corrupt and money obsessed, but i guess that's just the nature of any business. other than that, my one big gripe is some of the people i'm forced to serve and be nice to. even if they're being awful. but again, that's to be expected.

last week, when my friend told her customer the total, the woman gave her $20 and told her to use her change for the next customers bill. we were all pleasantly shocked by this and were excited to see the next guys reaction. after we get his bill and tell him the 'good news', he gives us his change and tells us to pay for the next persons ice cream with it. this was so awesome to see. it probably doesn't sound that cool, but it really was... especially since we're used to people trying to rip us off, that sorta thing. so the third customer comes up and pays for his order with a $100 bill.. when we tell him about the last guy who left money for him, he was basically indifferent and left no money to continue 'the chain'. this was a little disappointing because we were eager to see how far this would go, but i'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. working with the general public has made me see how horribly people can act/treat one another, but this gives me hope. kinda like how when you see a non-worker put all the grocery carts back in the parking lot (frankie*).. witnessing things like that really makes me want to try harder to be a good person and do the right thing, try to make someones day a little easier.. i think i'd like to try this experiment in the near future.

burgers, bananafish

2009-04-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

"I see you are looking at my feet," he said to her when car was in motion."I beg your pardon?" said the woman."I said I see you're looking at my feet"."I beg your pardon. I happened to be looking at the floor," said the woman, and faced the doors of the car."If you want to look at my feet, say so," said the young man. "But don't be a God-damned sneak about it.""Let me out here, please," the woman said quickly to the girl operating the car.The car doors opened and the woman got out without looking back."I have two normal feet and I can't see the slightest God-damned reason why anybody should stare at them," said the young man.

^^^so in one of my classes today, we were talking about how if you could meet any character from any book in real life, who would it be?... i think that the glass family from the jd salinger books would probably be my first choice, especially seymour. i have yet to meet someone who loves all of those books as much as i do. after that, it would probably be tyler durden, or maybe finny from a seperate peace... this is too hard of a question....

hahahaa, later on in the day we had a guest speaker come in and it was really weird, the majority of the time he just talked about the difference between mcdonalds mcdoubles and their double cheeseburgers.. i guess the double cheeseburger is 19 cents more and has an extra piece of cheese on it and it used to be on the dollar menu and how it should still be on the dollar menu and blah blah blah. the sad part is is that he is a pr guy for a comunity college and was supposed to give us a presentation on choosing our career pathways... he also was talking about how mcdonalds is "200% recession proof" so we should buy their stocks or at least convince our families to. whaaat the heck. if his mis-information can't convince you enough, i don't know what will.

pointless

2009-04-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

i have horrible writer's block right now. i have a blog on the tip of my fingers, i know what i want to say, i just can't do it. ha! so frustrating.

i would really like to get dead children playing: a picture book by stanley donwood. he's the guy that does all of radiohead's artwork. and i think that his stuff is pretty cooool.

for the past two weeks i've been trying to download the new animal collective CD but everytime i get a torrent, it never works! i really love their song 'my girls'. it is gREeAaTttt...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zol2MJf6XNE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb-8Z2TLCUo

"Is it much to admit I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
With a little girl, and by my spouse
I only want a proper house

I don't care for fancy things
Or to take part in the vicious race
But to provide for the ones who ask
I will with heart on my fathers grave

I don't mean to seem like
I care about material things
like a social status
I just want four walls and adobe slabs
for my girls"

i probably have no business putting this up as my musical taste is still being developed, worked on, maturing, whatever you want to say, but why not. i think this is a cool song and i particularly like the live performance.

we have a track meet today and i would really like to make varsity time. i want to go home and watch all the movies recorded on my DVR. too bad that TV is constantly dominated by patrick and nascar and video games..... i am so good at blogging.

FINALLY!

2009-04-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

as of tuesday at 4pm, i am a legal ohio driver! wooooohoooooOOo! the last few days i've been busy with driving, and driving, and uh...driving. i spent $22 on this iPod cassette adapter thing so i don't have to worry about transferring my whole CD collection on to cassettes... but that would be really funny if i did. i still plan on going to allied record exchange this weekend to scour the cassettes for something worthy of the Gem's (mercury topaz+gembreska...get it? ha) tape deck. hehehe, i think capitalizing the g in Gem is totally appropriate. i love her. okay this must end, i sound a little too obsessed....

spoons with you or in the bag?

2009-04-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

so tonight at work, we were very very very busy. at about 9:30 pm, one of the girls started to mop while i manned the counter. usually it's no big deal when someone mops, you just have to be a little bit more careful and you're fine..you can probably see were this one is going.
i'm walking up to the counter with a double dish of ice cream. the floor was wet in front of the front counter. i guess i wasn't careful enough because all of a sudden my legs flew out from under me and i was done for. it was like one of those slow motion "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" falls. i reached for the counter, but instead grabbed the 3'x4' container of spoons and napkins. i fell straight on my back, smacked my head on the ground, and was showered in 274368927 spoons and napkins. it was silent except for me and the other girls laying on the floor laughing laughing laughing. i saved the ice cream but when i got up, i realized i peed my pants! what the hell. insult to injury. the customers were all just staring at the floor littered with the aftermath and when i tried to explain what had happened, they were just like 'huh. okay.' i waddled around for the rest of the night with a huge wet spot on my butt, sweeping up all the spoons and re-mopping. jeez. oh kerry.

i suck, part dos

2009-04-08T17:02:00.000-07:00

failed my driving test....AGAIN. but only the manuverability part..AGAIN. have i become the gum popping, exaggerated sighing, hair twirling idiot teenage girl who can't drive to save her life (cher...clueless)? please, no. i do it just fine when i practice, but when it's test time i get all nervous and hit anything orange in sight. how ridiculous. if i hear 'third times a charm' one more time, i just might go crazy. i really hope there is not a limit on how many times you can take the test, ha. otherwise i am coooooked.

i suck

2009-03-31T18:13:00.000-07:00

i failed my drivers test :( but only the manuverability part. i have been practicing like crazy and have really been doing well (i thought) but somehow I KNOCKED OVER A CONE. what an idiot. i want to shoot myself in the face.

is it just me or is the DMV filled with some really really strange people? everytime i go, i'm just weirded out. before i took my test, we had some paperwork problems, so i stood with my dad and mom outside while they called people and got it straightened out.. i was a little irritated with this one particular weirdo who was staring at me the whole time we were out there. he was dressed like a homeless elf/annoying hipster and was dancing and jumping around and trying to play with a hacky sack by himself for about 15 minutes. if that was his mating call, it went un-heeded. this probably doesn't sound like very strange behavior, but you have to trust me on this. the best part was watching my dad watch him so confused, hahahahaha.

one more thing- there's this cop that i'm really terrified of at the DMV. he looks and acts just like ed rooney from ferris bueller... i always ask people about him but no one seems to know what i'm talking about. can anyone help me out?! i really hope that i don't have to redo my test with him next tuesday. i will die.

1992

2009-03-26T16:44:00.001-07:00

the last 24 hours have been really, extremely exceptional. i got to hold a real human brain.. and i got my first car!
my mom and patrick surprised me big time with this; i had given up hope for a car about 23 years ago.

i thought this was a particularly flattering picture of the 1992 Mercury Topaz.. too bad mine is gray and didn't come with the storm clouds. my driver's test is on tuesday at 1:30, so i guess that'll be my moment of truth, ha.

they other great thing that happened to me today was that i got to go to the UTMC cadaver lab. it was awesome! we got to talk to two 4th year medical students about what med school is like and all that nonsense. i was happy about this because up until pretty recently, i was really interested in becoming a MD or a physician assistant's...but med school is hard hard hard. i don't think i have enough smarts for it, or the funds, or the work ethic, but that's okay. after that, we went into the morgue and talked to two more 2nd year med students. these people are so ridiculously smart! i am extremely impressed and have a lot of respect for them. the best part was that they weren't robots or anything like that; they both were really nice and funny and easy to talk to. the corpse kind of took my breath away when i first saw it, but after about 2 seconds i was fine. if you couldn't already tell, i love all things gross and gory, so seeing this dissected body was right up my alley. i must be weird because i didn't think the formaldehyde (sp?) smell was that bad at all. it was only when one of the students took out a brain that i secretly gagged from the smell, haha. i got to hold the brain, the chest plate, the heart, the liver, and the uterus.. and we were allowed to kind of scope out the body and touch pretty much anything else we wanted to that wasn't already cut out. anatomy is theeee best.

alright, i just read this and i realize i wrote a three sentence blip on my first car, and a giant paragraph on cadavers. i think i am the nerdiest person alive.

wetsuits

2009-03-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

blizzard bill, you have failed me.
i dressed for fifty degree weather for track.. but i didn't take into account that the wind might be blowing. i froze for two hours, and then my coach made us go into the ice whirlpool after practice. insane. i don't recommend going into one unless you have really sore legs or like to stand thigh deep in 45 degree water. are wetsuits made out of the same material as underarmor? i need to do some research.

i just watched the movie Choke. i was really excited to see it because it's based off a book by one of my favorite authors, but it ended up being pretty ridiculous. kel would definitely not have approved. if you like Chuck Palahniuk, you kinda know what you're getting into, but jeeeez. it was no fight club, but still decent. it got my stamp of approval when they played radiohead during the last scene. not bad.

emily, these are for you:
Today, I suggested that my mother download Skype so we could video chat while I'm studying in London over the summer. After I had explained how it worked and that it was free, she said "Well...you'll only be gone for a few months. It's not really worth it."

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced.

hahahahahaha

only 50 more days of school left. i am officially counting down.

2009-03-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

last night, we went to this truck stop diner for dinner. it was one of those waffle-house, uncle john's pancakes type places; the grimier, the better. we had a very nice waitress, but the only problem is is that i think she might have had pink eye. i ordered the taco salad anyways.

bleh this makes me want to write a kid's book of disgusting stories, hahahahaha.

ambitious

2009-03-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

i am the queen of procrastination. i know i should really be doing homework and laundry right now, but i just drank half a two litre of diet pepsi, so i'm gonna be up for awhile.

my hair is getting so long that i can shut part of it in the car door and not even realize it till i try to reach something on the floor of the back seat? emily and i got a good laugh out of this. it's starting to look a little janis joplin-esque considering that i never brush it... one day i'm going to wake up and it's going to be one huge dread. that would look really, really nice for my senior pictures.

gah, i am overwhelmed with college stuff. i should really probably start putting some serious thought into what i want to be in the future. any suggestions? i thought i wanted to go in the health care field, but i'm not really feelin that anymore. i just want to listen to music all day and get payed for it, that would be a sweet job.. or be like the teenage cameron crowe, ha. perhaps i can use my 23 yards of hair to my advantage... i can cut it off and make wigs for women who envy my red locks, and then overcharge them all! the wigs will be so high in demand that i'll be 'harvesting' my hair for the rest of my life. no college degree required.

new school curriculum?

2009-03-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

my school's internet censorship cracks me up. i tried looking up 'how to become a tattoo artist' on google and was blocked, but as soon as i searched 'weird tattoos' on the image site, i saw, uh, some weird tattoos (emily, i'm addicted to looking them up since sat. night, haha loser). we're on the laptops right now and i'm a little paranoid that someone is looking over my shoulder reading this.. i like my privacy. i have nothing interesting to say, i'm in an american government state of mind.

in case any of you crazy mcgoverns wanted to become a tattoo artist in ireland:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=56575678

you're welcome.

even dorkier

2009-03-07T07:51:00.001-08:00

bah, just got home from a piano competition.. totally butchered this piece:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2EoM0aO8Kc

"the way you played it made it seem really contemporary; the mistakes sounded like they were supposed to be in there." oh nathan.

the worst part is that it was one of those advanced competitions where i see all the teenage piano geniuses. it's like a secret society. they're all so refined and intimidating and awesome at piano and not very friendly... so doing bad was extra embarrasing. oh well.

i have over a 4.0 for the first time. my guidance counselor will be happy.

i want to work for the travel channel. i wish anthony bourdain wasn't married.

dork

2009-03-05T13:40:00.001-08:00

today has been a particularly good day. i have a good life.

flooooooooooooooooooood!

2009-03-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

when i'm washing the dishes, i'm in one of three moods; music, no music, or S.U.T.P.'s... let me explain.

1. Music- this is when i do the dishes and i listen to whatever CD i want
2. No music- i really hope i don't need to explain this? (why did i even need to explain music?..hmm anyways)
3. S.U.T.P or 'suck up to my parents' or sometimes it's just 'suck up to patrick'- this is when i do the dishes but i put in a CD that pat and KEL will somewhat appreciate and then in turn like me better (just kidding)

as i was getting ready to start the dishes today, i realized i didn't have any music! and i was definitly in the mood to listen to something. i let the water start to run as i went to get a CD (sung tongs by animal collective). then i realized i had no dish towels to set the clean cups on either. this meant i had to go to the hall closet and grab a few. naturally the hall closet is by the bathroom, and there is a full length mirror on the bathroom door.. after i grabbed the towels, i had to gaze at the mirror for a few moments and admire myself. i go back into the kitchen a couple (well maybe like 30) seconds later and this is what it looked like:

i ran to the sink. i reached in. i fumbled through the (sharp!) soapy silverware. i pulled the plug. and the water went down. right as i was doing this, none other than THE kel-inator walks in, but she has her back turned. i sprint to the bathroom, grab a towel, and clean up all the water. as i'm going to put the wet towel in the bathtub, i decide to go to my room and grab Neil Young's After the Goldrush. They didn't see it happen, but i figure it couldn't hurt.

tonsillitis blues

2009-02-28T17:36:00.000-08:00

this is somewhat weird/funny/pathetic to admit, but when i was younger, i used to hope i would get sick so that i would get all of big kel's attention.... horrible but true.

for the past three days, i've been quarantined to the couch. two huge swollen tonsils, an ear infection, 897 headaches, and unexplained charlie horses? it's been unpleasant. i missed two more days of school, which is pretty bad. i can't wait till my throat returns to it's normal state so i can swallow more than jello and electrolyte-enhanced gatorade. i was so sad last night, emily and the girls came over, and 'my couch' was off limits. omri still climbed all over me and tried to get me to play with her though. :( she was spinning around in circles yelling "i love kerry, i love kerry" which was super funny and very much appreciated. i can't wait to snap out of this, i'm all infomercial-ed and nyquill-ed out. i just read this and i realized i sound like a master complainer, but i think that these complaints are justified, for the most part.

This is what happens when I don't go to school.

2009-02-24T09:25:00.000-08:00

i caved and made a blog. how embarrasing.

i'm a little disappointed right now. i just spent fifteen minutes doing this msn survey so i could find out whether or not the urban legend was true about the old woman microwaving her poodle. this is what i found:

The "Poodle in the Microwave" or "Microwaved Pet" myth, in which a person puts a wet pet in the microwave to dry (with tragically explosive results for the animal), was widely circulated in the mid-1970s. It was probably a reaction to somewhat mysterious new technologies such as microwave ovens. Although this legend usually has a befuddled elderly woman making the fatal error, the manner in which the pet gets wet, as well as the type of pet, has sometimes varied. And it goes without saying (we hope!) that while this story isn't true, you should never microwave your pet.

what an aggravating answer, i was hoping for some blood and guts.